today, my heart breaks.

sometimes, life makes no sense.

i have been wrestling with feelings of confusion and heartache all evening as i've learned details of the shooting at my old middle school today. growing up during the columbine shootings, school safety and evacuations were constantly emphasized, and the aftermath of the tragedy still impacts our community to today. i guess i just never thought such tragedy would strike in the same place twice... even throughout all of the lock-in drills and warnings about safety, i never thought that such violence would occur again in littleton.

today, two poor children were shot as they were leaving school. thanks to a few courageous staff members, no one was else was injured. and thank goodness that no one was killed.

but this event is disheartening, nonetheless.

i wonder why children of such innocence must suffer so greatly.

i think of the children soldiers in sudan, kidnapped and turned into animals-- taught to ruthlessly kill their own people and commit acts far beyond their maturity level.

i think of thousands of children recently-orphaned after the catastrophic earthquake in haiti... having lived their entire lives in poverty, only to lose their families and homes in the earthquake.

i think of the young girls in afghanistan and the horrendous manner in which they are treated simply because they are female.

i think of the two teenage boys i know that are battling cancer... having to fight so hard and deal with such emotional circumstances at such a pivotal age.

i think of all of the children around the world suffering from AIDS, starving, living in slums and in poverty.

and i can't understand it.

i think i would lose all hope for humanity if it weren't for my faith in Christ and for the knowledge that God has a bigger, better plan for all of us. i know that these trials, however unfair and lasting they may seem, will be short-lived once we reach the glory of the eternities.

as i am ruminating all of this, i think a little of my own struggles with illness.

life can be so hard. but i take comfort in this:

"and if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.

for i reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

-romans 8:17-18