tricks and treats.

sometimes, i think it would be nice to go back to this:

i adore this picture. super tough indiana jones will. smiley anna. and benny's my favorite-- the courageous (and muscular) spider-man!

there is something about halloween that brings unexplainable excitement to a child.

i remember my childhood halloweens very fondly... the costume parades, the bobbing for apples, and oh... the sugar!

though this year's halloween wasn't nearly as magical due to illness and such, i was still able to put on my favorite mom pants and party with the most ghostly of provo for a solid 20 minutes.

i also ate a fair amount of candy corn, chocolate, and carmel-apple suckers to celebrate.

now, i am going to sleep in my favorite halloween socks, just to finish the night off right.

happy halloween to all!

and to all a good night.

modern medicine: numero tres.

i am so grateful for good doctors, medicine, and healing power.

health insurance is very nice too.

i can't wait to be healthy again and to become a doctor.

why does it have to be such a long road?!

postcards from italy.

i kind of love love love this... a lot.

hope you do too. happy almost-weekend!

just to break my fall.

there are quite a few things that put a smile on my face today.

• in talking with family, and after reading this (a suggestion from my missionary brother), i realized that it's all going to be okay.
• i became friends with the cutest argentine family; i am excited to get to know them.
• remembering that i get to see her in concert in a little over a week.
  

not only does this video make me want to have an entirely black-and-white room, it makes me want to hold the hare krishna festival inside that room.

and then we'll all look like this:

and live happily ever after.

happy wednesday!

question:

how am i supposed to go on?

in the strength of the Lord and with the support of my family, i guess. have i mentioned how great i am for them?

365 days.

today, october 26, 2009, marks my one-year anniversary of falling ill.

and what a long year it has been.

though i have grown a great deal, i have struggled a great deal.

though i have learned a lot, i have wanted to just give up... a lot.

since 2008, i have visited the doctor 42 times (and that's just what i can remember.)

i have had two surgeries, filled over twenty-one prescriptions, and gotten my blood drawn so many times that my poor little veins bruise more easily than ever.

i have experienced it all while being sick-- the long, cold winter, the refreshing spring, the bright summer, and the crisp fall.

i lived through my freshman year of college facing constant sickness. and so far, i've made it through 1/4 of my sophomore year doing the same (though barely.)

i traveled to europe while being sick; i took midterms and finals while being sick; i spent a summer in my bed and slept 12 hours, most nights.

it has been hard. so very hard.

and i have a long road ahead.

but guess what?! i survived.

i am so thankful for my Savior and the people who have helped me through.

and i am so, so grateful for my family and feel blessed to have such supportive friends.

so, thank you...

here's to hoping for a healthier, happier october 26, 2010.

simplicity.

today i am grateful for:

-friendship.

-familia.

-enchilada dinners.

-beautiful music in church.

now it's time to start another week. here goes nothing...

school spirit?

dearest cougars,

next time we have a BIG game, and espn game day comes to provo, please don't blow it.

it's no fun to watch blowouts (on our own field) in the cold.

what a bummer of a game-- the stink headed refs didn't help much either.

oh well, maybe next year. i still believe.

i was happy to finally have some fun with my friends, at least!

a picture is worth a thousand words.

this picture has a lot of significance.

it was taken on october 25, 2008. the last time i felt healthy.

also, it was the last time my whole family came to provo to enjoy some byu fun.

life was good back then.

sometimes, i wish i could go back in time. anyone have a time machine for me?

well, i love the memories, at least.

they call me grace.

i bet you didn't know that it was possible to fracture your toe while shaving your legs.

well, my friends, it is. want to know how i know it is possible? i did it.

one of my baby toes is very, very sad at present.

he doesn't think that long legs and a teeny shower make for a very good combination.

and neither do i.

i am fairly confident that i am the only human alive who's capable of doing something like this.

at least it makes for a comical story, right?

and i always used to think i had cute feet...

in other news, can i tell you how grateful i am that it is friday tomorrow? welcome, glorious weekend.

also, the angels won, and the phillies took the NLCS. let's hope the halos can pull out two in a row in the bronx, now...

*photo taken on the coast of ireland (with non-broken toes.)

jammin'.

listening to the beatles is the perfect way to spend a wednesday afternoon. thank goodness today was a better day.

i'm not crying; it's just raining on my face.

today was equally as gloomy as yesterday. and yet again, my tear glands produced more liquid than the skies. in light of the whole matter, i thought of this.

i might have to start using some of these lines on those giving me the awkward stares as i walk by. or i maybe i could just make a lasagna for one and throw it at them.

thank goodness for my family who's so supportive, even through all of the tears.

blue skies?

the heavens looked like they were about to burst, all day long. and looking back on it, i kind of wish they had. that way, no one would've been able to notice the flood that erupted from my eyes more than once. someday, i will get better...

until then, i just have to remember that i am lucky to be alive.

ay yi yi.

no puedo enfocar. tengo mucho estrés. no quiero hacer nada menos dormir y relajar. no me gusta sentir enferma... ha sido demasiado tiempo. hay muchas cosas que quiero hacer, pero no puedo hacer nada. quiero sentir bien... quiero correr... quiero estar feliz como era normal. es horible para sentir como eres un extranjero en tu propia vida. necesita una poca ayuda muchas veces. y por eso, siempre contar con mis padres y con Dios. adagrezco mucho por mi religion y por las escrituras como eso:

"he aqui, Dios es mi salvación; confiaré y no temeré, porque el Señor JEHOVÁ es mi fortaleza y mi canción; y también ha llegado a ser salvación para mí."

-2 Nephi 22:2

love means everything, when it comes to tennis.

my family is a tennis family. i do not really know how we became this way, but i think that somehow an enjoyment of everything tennis snuck up on all of us; and we've been hooked ever since. need proof?

guillermo is a natural talent. he managed a first and second place in state consecutive years, and he hardly even played in the

off season!

i fell in love with the sport and played more or less non-stop for four years. i played in the state championship match three years in a row but lost every year in three sets. does that make me really good, or really good at choking? hmm....

we traveled allll the way to london to watch wimbledon. (okay, maybe we didn't fly the thousands of miles solely to see wimbledon, but we DID spend a rainy night camping out in the queue to get tickets).

my hermano, benny, got fourth in state today! the legacy lives on... CONGRATS, BENNY BOY! I'M SO PROUD!

man, i love tennis.

p.s. photos of bennett and me were taken while playing on astro turf in northern ireland. it's quite the experience; i highly recommend that everyone try it once!

spooooky.

have you ever seen this film? very good, very halloween-y, very excellent entertainment for tonight. enjoy this little magic, just don't listen to their singing too long... or else you may get brainwashed.

happy halloween-time!

freedom.

do you know who this man is?

he was incredible. he grew up not knowing his mother, not knowing how old he was, not receiving any education. yet he rapidly took up the opportunity to learn to read and became a thinking man, and cherished the opportunity for education from that point forward. he knew that education was the only think that could make him free. after reading his autobiography, narrative of the life of frederick douglass, an american slave, i have been reminded of how fortunate i am to live in an age and in a place where there is freedom. though our country's past is something quite shameful, i feel it is important to learn about the atrocities of our ancestors to gain appreciation for all that the slaves had to endure and to thus show respect for those who have descended from them. if you want a life-changing read, i highly recommend this book.

if you need further convincing, here's a little excerpt.

You are loosed from your moorings, and are free; I am fast in my chains, and am a slave! You move merrily before the gentle gale, and I sadly before the bloody whip! You are freedom's swift-winged angels, that fly round the world; I am confined in bands of iron! O that I were free! O, that I were on one of your gallant decks, and under your protecting wing! Alas! The glad ship is gone; she hides in the dim distance. I am left in the hottest hell of unending slavery. O God, save me! God, deliver me! Let me be free! Is there any God? Why am I a slave?

today, i have a renewed gratitude for: my literacy, the opportunity to learn, my identity, and my freedom. we really have so much to be grateful for.

a reason to be excited.

there is nothing like the feeling of getting into bed with a sore, tired body, after an incredibly-long, draining day.

don't you agree?

p.s. i played tennis yesterday. for the first time in months.

it was incredible.

stories like this...

renew my hope in humanity:

there really are a lot of good people in this world.

a little inspiration, round two.

in attempting to overcome these hardships, i have been in the need of constant pick-me-ups. so, here is a little pick-me-up, perfect for an october monday.

"for i am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus, our Lord."

-romans 8:38-39

maybe tomorrow will be better... just maybe.

a little inspiration.

"we have a choice.

we can trust in our own strength,

or we can journey to a higher ground

and come unto Christ."

-Joseph B. Wirthlin

life is still pretty hard right now.

hard, but good.

i have great friends and an amazing family.

and i had an excellent few days with my family...

details to come.

little list of loves.

on this saturday, this is what's making me a happy anna:
1. sleeping in, and not even feeling guilty about it.
2. clean kitchens.
3. virtual chem labs-- it may seem weird, but chemistry's a whole lot more fun when it's a computer game... i promise!
4. chips and fresh salsa.
5. reuniting with my favorite russian aunt and my other wonderful family.
6. texting my mama.
7. discovering that chocolate-covered almonds are actually a good food for me to eat...huzzah!
8. family family family.
what made your saturdays happy?

a true story.

i haven't worn makeup in seventeen days.

though this is by no means any sort of record for me (i've gone without much longer, many times),

i've loved every second of it.

in case you were wondering, this is what anna really looks like.

and i am quite okay with it.

la verdad es que..

i am alive.

and for this, i am grateful.

blue skies.

sometimes, life is not fair.

good people get hurt.

good people get sick.

good people die.

and there is nothing that anyone can do about it.

today has been a bit melancholy for me for some reason.

at times like these, all i know how to help is to pray.

and oh, how i have been praying.

at least this song reminds me to have hope.

i hope blue skies are headed this way.

until then, i will remain grateful for the comfort in that i can keep praying.

just a little perspective.

as i am sitting here feeling a little bit sorry for myself, i remembered a little quote that puts it all back into perspective. leave it to señor ashe to say something particularly poignant in my life ahora.

If I were to say, "God, why me?" about the bad things, then I should have said, "God, why me?" about the good things that happened in my life.

-Arthur Ashe

i am lucky to have so much good to be thankful for.

a bit more nostalgia.

have you ever been sick for a lonnng period of time?

if so, have you noticed how feeling so awful for such a long period of time can make the good memories of past times seem that much more magical?

lately, i have been catching myself reminiscing about some of the happier, healthier, less-stressful times of my life.

for instance, tonight i sat and ate a delicious burger from chadders (highly recommendable), but it brought me back to an adventure involving similarly-delicious burgers from the one-and-only, in-n-out.

one april morning, six friends decided to ditch the sub-zero (okay, maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration, but it was awful cold) temperature of provo and head down south, on the quest for the glory that is in-n-out. and that's just what they did.

four hours in the car, eight hamburgers, and many a french-fry later, this is how satisfied they were:

but the sunshine was just too glorious to resist, so they decided to prolong their return to provo and spend a bit more time playing frisbee and chatting in the park.

but they still hadn't had enough of the sunshine... so they took a little detour to the beautiful st. george temple.

eventually, the need to study called them back to provo, but an enjoyable car ride filled with music and laughter completed their adventure perfectly.

it makes me so happy to think of all of the good memories i've been blessed with.

the good memories, combined with the gospel and wonderful friends and family in my life bring me some joy during the hard times in life.

what memories make you happy?

ohana.

i am so grateful for my family.

i have the greatest family... extended family included.

one thing that i love about my faith is the emphasis placed on the importance of family.

i hope you all had a lovely sunday.

p.s. nine months until guillermo comes home!

the sounds of fall.

for some reason, i just can't get enough of this band right now.

they fit in perfectly with this fall atmosphere, and i actually like it. a lot.

listen to this, and try telling me you don't agree.

helllllo, mr. fall.

a favorite treat.

tonight, i ate candy corn.

and suddenly, i was much more accepting of the fall.

there's something about that candy corn that i just can't seem to get enough of.

it makes me excited, every autumn.

happy fall weekend to you all!

reminiscing, just a little.

though it is fall, and it is a lovely fall, there was a certain bite in the air today that i had a hard time appreciating. fall is a generally-glorious time of life, but it always signals what is to come... the bitter cold (and finals).

today, i found myself daydreaming a bit about a time in the past. i had just finished a brutal first year of college, and i had adventured off to california with a few friends for a weekend of sunshine and bliss. and right about now, a return trip to the happiest place on earth doesn't sound too bad at all (you know how they decorate it all up halloween-y, with pumpkins all over the place? and think of the haunted mansion at this time of year!)

oh well. the reality of the situation is that i am here, in chilly provo, utah, trying to stay afloat amidst a wave of homework and this blasted illness that just won't leave me alone.

but isn't it great to have the sweet memories and to be able to reminisce a bit?

i think so.

una cosa.

a late-night fro yo run with my mother was just about the only thing that could get me through today.

have i mentioned how grateful i am that my mom is here?